Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts near me Hepburn Saskatchewan. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a tremendous complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet pictures, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really important. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to manage far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just function to bolster them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I really like Instagram photographs because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I do not. Backpage Escorts near Hepburn Saskatchewan Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) pictures. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do believe it's important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Henribourg Saskatchewan. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, after which you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with far too much cleavage. Hepburn backpage escorts. Now, that is certainly excellent - I don't have any issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a website for that). So while I'm sure there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be pleasant and not seem impolite, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Hepburn, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I begin contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (generally 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I have e-mailed a number of those guys, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a response. Backpage escorts near Hepburn Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online sites: you're only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Herbert Saskatchewan. Merely to check I wrote to rather older women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Attempted all kinds of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I have had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they do not respond. Simply do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they are. It's only that all the younger men approaching old women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They just show interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Hepburn Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a man (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them really state what they provide a man. Usually, itis a record of demands and preferences. This really is not good marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we mature guys, like some old women bring the opposite sex. Sadly, a lot of people don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to set bounds; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will recognize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently act the same manner, just wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that most folks simply blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular site, I also was only capable to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Hepburn, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. Backpage escorts closest to Hepburn. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I imagine I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I think it's a combo of my character, a sort of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Hepburn, Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I don't know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to dwell together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Hepburn, Saskatchewan backpage escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular declaration) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage escorts closest to Hepburn. Notice how he follows up with this little gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!