Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Backpage escorts closest to Calder Saskatchewan. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must cope with much too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) merely serve to fortify them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes seem strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts nearby Calder Saskatchewan, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the online dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Cadillac Saskatchewan. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about average (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with far too much cleavage. Calder backpage escorts. Now, that is absolutely excellent - I have no issue at all with this, and I am sure many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mostly of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is absolutely no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can maintain our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Way too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be nice and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could only no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensuous, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of internet dating. Calder Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. I have seen after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (typically 35-50) I frequently move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, knowingly sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of those men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage Escorts closest to Calder, Canada. I suppose the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of online sites: you are just defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Calley Saskatchewan. Simply to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Attempted all types of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I have had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested however they don't respond. Simply do not comprehend this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I am an old guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger men approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Calder, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually say what they provide a guy. Typically, it is a listing of demands and choices. This really is not good marketing. A lady must have the ability to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he needs?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's all about a cynical cash grab, I must inform you we old men, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Regrettably, many don't attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she is the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature woman will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently act the same manner, only wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that many people simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular website, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Calder Saskatchewan Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts near Calder. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I imagine I'm one of the blessed ones, but I believe it is a combo of my personality, a form of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue frankly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Calder, Saskatchewan backpage escorts. I really don't know....Am ok with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Calder, Saskatchewan backpage escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is completely mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) guys in my age group. The authors of this pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts closest to Calder. Notice how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!