Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts near Chibougamau Quebec. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous gripe among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the topic of pet photographs, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This is so significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to cope with much too many negative stereotypes, and also the cat photos (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Backpage Escorts near me Chibougamau Quebec Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do think it is significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to guys also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Chesterville Quebec. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you aren't posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with far too much cleavage. Chibougamau Backpage Escorts. Now, that's certainly excellent - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamour shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained chiefly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a want to be nice and not seem rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she just couldn't trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all around the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle aged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Chibougamau, Quebec backpage escorts. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men desire, (generally 35-50) I frequently move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these men, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Backpage escorts closest to Chibougamau, Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the builtin folly of online websites: you are merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Chichester Quebec. Just to check I wrote to fairly elderly women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all sorts of images. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not respond. Simply do not realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger men. But of course they're. It's only that all the younger guys approaching senior women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys start to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that is the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Chibougamau Quebec backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically not one of them actually state what they offer a man. Generally, it is a listing of demands and preferences. This is not great marketing. A lady should be able to answer the question What do I provide a guy that he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't great with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it's all about a cynical money grab, I need to tell you we older guys, like some mature women entice the opposite sex. Sadly, lots of people do not entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to set borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Perhaps women are accustomed to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely men can often behave the same way, only wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that most people just blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this website, I also was only able to date younger (my usual preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Chibougamau Quebec backpage escorts. Backpage Escorts nearby Chibougamau. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my character, a form of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Chibougamau, Quebec Backpage Escorts. I really don't know....Am acceptable with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Chibougamau Quebec backpage escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage Escorts nearby Chibougamau. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!