Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Backpage escorts closest to Morrison River Landing Ontario. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations based on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I have a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must manage much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely serve to bolster them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my online dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts nearest Morrison River Landing Ontario, Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) pictures. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Morrison Lake Ontario. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you want a quality man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photos with way too much cleavage. Morrison River Landing Backpage Escorts. Now, that's certainly wonderful - I don't have any trouble at all with this, and I'm sure many men don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor photos and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of complaint-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noted how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Much too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be pleasant and not appear rude, so we ignore the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great dismay that she simply couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful individuals all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could merely no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mom/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Morrison River Landing Ontario Backpage Escorts. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men desire, (generally 35-50) I often move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches that are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a reply. Backpage escorts in Morrison River Landing, Canada. I suppose the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built-in folly of on-line websites: you're just defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful business, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I am quite busy so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Morson Ontario. Merely to check I wrote to quite old women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Attempted all types of graphics. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they don't respond. Just don't understand this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an elderly man and many women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is only that all the younger men approaching older women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They only reveal interest in men their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's the reason why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Morrison River Landing, Ontario backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and practically none of them actually say what they offer a guy. Generally, itis a record of demands and preferences. This is not great advertising. A woman must have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man he needs?" If she does not understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it is about a cynical cash grab, I must tell you we older guys, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Sadly, many don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Surely a man can gather much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from inferior matches they become exasperated and begin to set borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Perhaps women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can frequently behave exactly the same style, merely wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that most folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this site, I also was just capable to date younger (my normal taste except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Morrison River Landing, Ontario Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts closest to Morrison River Landing. Shaved off quite several years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I guess I am one of the blessed ones, but I think it's a combo of my personality, a kind of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I have decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Morrison River Landing Ontario backpage escorts. I do not know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I have a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to reside together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand version circa 1965. Morrison River Landing, Ontario Backpage Escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I have read far more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage escorts in Morrison River Landing. Note how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Obviously, the unspoken assertion is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he's promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!