Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts near me Hallebourg, Ontario. The following list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge gripe among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is really important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to deal with far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) only serve to reinforce them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts nearby Hallebourg Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photos. Truth in advertising women, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely adore them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Haliburton Ontario. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Hallebourg Backpage Escorts. Now, that's absolutely fine - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I am sure many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor pictures and then complain to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Quit Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mainly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the men on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Way too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not appear impolite, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she simply couldn't trust the men she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could merely no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could simply no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sexy, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-total optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Hallebourg, Ontario backpage escorts. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It is as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (generally 35-50) I frequently move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! To put it differently, knowingly sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a few of these men, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage escorts nearest Hallebourg, Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of on-line sites: you're merely defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people tried to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic location (Alaska). As a result I'm very busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Halton Hills Ontario. Simply to check I wrote to rather mature women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every woman. Tried all sorts of pictures. Nothing. When I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and scarcely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they don't respond. Simply don't recognize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an older man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's only that all the younger guys approaching senior women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest way to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their very own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Hallebourg, Ontario Backpage Escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically state what she offers a man (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and nearly not one of them actually say what they provide a guy. Typically, it's a list of demands and preferences. This is not great advertising. A lady should be able to answer the question What do I offer a man he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're talking rot as far as I am concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects are not good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's about a cynical cash grab, I have to inform you we old guys, like some older women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, lots of people do not attract the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a man can assemble much about a lady from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from inferior matches they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly guys can frequently act the same manner, only wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is that many folks merely blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The amusing thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular blog, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Hallebourg Ontario backpage escorts. Backpage Escorts near Hallebourg. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slim, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I suppose I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my character, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been attracted to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a issue honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Hallebourg, Ontario backpage escorts. I actually don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to reside together sooner or later in the future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Hallebourg Ontario Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely mild and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) men in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage Escorts near Hallebourg. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile perspective) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!