Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this particular post. Backpage escorts closest to Caledon East, Ontario. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the topic of pet photos, I 've a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is so important. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already have to manage far too many negative stereotypes, and the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only function to reinforce them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I love Instagram photos because lots of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Backpage escorts in Caledon East Ontario Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., deceptive) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Caledon Ontario. The thing is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around average (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire a good man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you aren't posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Caledon East backpage escorts. Now, that is certainly fine - I have no difficulty at all with this, and I am certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour photos and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just need them for sex. And while we're on the topic of complaint-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the men on this one. There is no point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes utilize a website for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a desire to be fine and not appear ill-mannered, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the men she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about one of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful individuals all around the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Whining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my buddies/mother/ex-husband/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I think that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Caledon East, Ontario Backpage Escorts. I've found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (normally 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a few of these guys, I never hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I am within their desirable range, I still don't get much of a response. Backpage escorts near Caledon East, Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of online sites: you are only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful company, know how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am really busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no real dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Caledon Village Ontario. Simply to check I wrote to rather older women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped practically every woman. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they are inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not answer. Simply don't understand this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old guy and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It's just that all the younger men approaching mature women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in men their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that is why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Caledon East Ontario Backpage Escorts. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they provide a guy. Typically, it's a listing of demands and choices. This really isn't good marketing. A female should be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you are speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't great with a much younger girl. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and attractive lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to believe it is all about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we elderly men, like some mature women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't attract the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can assemble much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with responses from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to establish borders; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and indicates maybe an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will realize that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave the same style, only wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that many people only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill comprehended desires, understanding neither themselves or what they want from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this particular blog, I also was only capable to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Caledon East, Ontario backpage escorts. Backpage Escorts near Caledon East. Shaved off quite a few years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (thin, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I'm one of the blessed ones, but I believe it is a combo of my style, a form of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and sometimes a difficulty frankly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm quite in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Caledon East Ontario Backpage Escorts. I do not know....Am okay with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to dwell together sooner or later later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Caledon East Ontario Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) guys in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts near me Caledon East. Note how he follows up with this little gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any woman younger than himself, and he's immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!