Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts nearby East Margaree Nova Scotia. The following list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a bit of research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Pictures. This was a tremendous complaint among the guys I interviewed. They are looking at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet photographs, I 've a personal request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is so important. I can't emphasize it enough. Single, middle aged women already must cope with way too many negative stereotypes, and the cat pictures (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) only function to bolster them. I once composed a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram pictures because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these pictures on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts near me East Margaree Nova Scotia Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one criticism among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly adore them), but I do think it's important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me East Mapleton Nova Scotia. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body thus let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and comprehend once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (appropriate, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you want a quality guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. East Margaree Backpage Escorts. Now, that is completely fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm certain many men don't have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor shots and then whine to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only need them for sex. And while we are on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are contained mainly of complaints about men - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own picks. We can keep our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite right. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking as well as a want to be pleasant and not appear impolite, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she simply could not trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these guys who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the second date (after he assured to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust men she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I would like to ask all my middleaged internet dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these too: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and any and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex/children tell me that..I am a glass-half-total optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can find some common ground and get back to the company of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. East Margaree, Nova Scotia Backpage Escorts. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though proceeding from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those guys want, (normally 35-50) I regularly move past them, understanding I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those men are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches which are likely not realistic for me to pursue. When I have emailed a number of these men, I never hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and probably read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a response. Backpage Escorts near East Margaree, Canada. I assume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old version of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school honey or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It's frustrating, not to mention depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line websites: you're only defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, seem young for 48, run my own successful firm, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women who have written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me East Mines Station Nova Scotia. Just to check I wrote to rather old women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Tried all kinds of images. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they are inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't respond. Just do not comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years ago.
Kathleen, I'm an older guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they're. It is merely that all the younger men approaching elderly women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men start to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. East Margaree, Nova Scotia Backpage Escorts. But there are certain ways around this. First, a girl has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read a large number of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them really say what they provide a man. Normally, it's a record of demands and choices. This is not great marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a guy he desires?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as you'd like to consider it's all about a cynical cash grab, I must tell you we older men, like some old women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, a lot of people do not bring the opposite sex. nature is cruel.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can collect much about a girl from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more considerate mature girl will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently act the same manner, merely wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that many people just blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their poorly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they want from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this blog, I also was only capable to date younger (my usual taste except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. East Margaree Nova Scotia backpage escorts. Backpage escorts near East Margaree. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (slender, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I job youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe it's a combo of my personality, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand looks. Men have always been attracted to me in person. Big time. Occasionally it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I have determined if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I am really in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. East Margaree, Nova Scotia Backpage Escorts. I actually don't know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And intend to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. East Margaree Nova Scotia backpage escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is definitely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this particular blog, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) guys in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented notions like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discussion on old Boomer men" below). Backpage Escorts near East Margaree. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Needless to say, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer men have no such issue, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any woman younger than himself, and he's instantly labeled a creep, a pervert and also a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!