Last week I discussed my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage escorts closest to Prince William New Brunswick. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with a few of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you're a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland region, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Pictures. This was a huge criticism among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I got a private request of all you single, middle-aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This really is really important. I can not emphasize it enough. Single, middle-aged women already have to cope with way too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your bed) just serve to augment them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel undesirable , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photos. I really like Instagram pictures because lots of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photos on my internet dating profile? No I don't. Backpage escorts near Prince William New Brunswick Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't actually that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising women, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably adore them), but I do think it is important that we at least strive for truthfulness. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are using the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this criticism applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Port Elgin New Brunswick. The matter is, there really isn't anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body thus let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire an excellent guy who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post pictures of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you aren't posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Prince William backpage escorts. Now, that is absolutely fine - I have no issue at all with this, and I'm certain many guys don't have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-sexy glamor shots and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are included primarily of grievances about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There's absolutely no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative perception of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a blog for that). So while I'm certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can keep our positive expectations while at the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite appropriate. Way too often some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a want to be nice and not seem rude, so we ignore the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great sadness that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the second date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust men she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could only no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middle-aged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mom/ex-husband/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just perhaps, we can find some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Prince William New Brunswick backpage escorts. I have found after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the reply I get on has dropped to nearly nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death-knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look in the age-range that those men want, (normally 35-50) I frequently move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed a number of those guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still don't get much of a response. Backpage escorts closest to Prince William, Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they've a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a school sweetheart or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of on-line websites: you're only defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, trim, look young for 48, run my own successful company, know the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm quite active so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the number of women that have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my local date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Princess Park New Brunswick. Simply to check I wrote to rather old women and not as appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all kinds of graphics. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old pals who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women seem interested but they don't respond. Just don't comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am unwilling to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring permanently alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I am an old man and many women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's just that all the younger guys approaching senior women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest way to get easy sex. They just reveal interest in guys their own age when the supply of younger men dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I'm not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Prince William New Brunswick Backpage Escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically say what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them actually state what they offer a man. Generally, it is a listing of demands and choices. This isn't good marketing. A woman should be able to answer the question What do I provide a man that he wants?" If she does not know, (or is offended by the question) she's not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I am concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't great with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it is about a cynical cash grab, I need to tell you we older guys, like some elderly women entice the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't bring the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Definitely a guy can gather much about a girl from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with answers from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she's the more desirable one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will recognize that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Clearly guys can often behave the same manner, only wanting sex. I consider the deeper truth is the fact that most folks only blunder automatically into relationships, compelled by their ill understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The funny thing is both me and my current bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was just able to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Prince William, New Brunswick Backpage Escorts. Backpage Escorts in Prince William. Shaved off quite a number of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (skinny, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I project youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I imagine I am one of the blessed ones, but I believe that it's a combo of my style, a kind of God luminescence"/spiritualityand appears. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm very in love with him) I won't return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Perhaps 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Prince William, New Brunswick backpage escorts. I don't know....Am ok with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I have a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We're merely apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together sooner or later in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Prince William, New Brunswick Backpage Escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years past; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of men (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely light and benign. I've read far more hateful invective on this site, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a regular assertion) guys in my age group. The writers of the pot of hater-aide? Only the youthful thirty and forty-something women fed up with the progress of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the large part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation invented theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer men" below). Backpage escorts in Prince William. Notice how he follows up with this small gem, The age and picture driven nature of online dating makes it more challenging for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken declaration is that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no over 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is promptly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!