Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I'd focus on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I am much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Backpage escorts closest to Magnet Manitoba. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the guys I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, especially the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet pictures, I 've a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photographs of your cats. This is so significant. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already must cope with way too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) just function to fortify them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwanted , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America telling me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so really, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram photos because many of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about 10 years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my online dating profile? No I don't. Backpage escorts near me Magnet Manitoba Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram photographs would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you probably love them), but I do think it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that way too many women out there in the internet dating world are employing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Mafeking Manitoba. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let's take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire an excellent guy who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in someone else's bed). And if you're not posting pictures of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you're posting pictures with far too much cleavage. Magnet Backpage Escorts. Now, that is completely wonderful - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I am sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-hot glamour photos and then whine to their buddies, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we are on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Discontinue Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several men noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised chiefly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their behavior in general. I agree with the men on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes make use of a website for that). So while I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I really believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at the exact same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite correct. Way too often some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and a desire to be nice and not appear ill-mannered, so we discount the big, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a woman who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless abundance and his connections to powerful people all over the world. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be vetted by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could just no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all of my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my pals/mother/ex/children tell me that..I'm a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all really agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of internet dating. Magnet Manitoba Backpage Escorts. I have detected after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the response I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It's as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some kind of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the website sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I often move past them, understanding I can not compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years old than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of these guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desired range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage Escorts nearby Magnet, Canada. I presume the reason behind this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, like a school sweetheart or whatever, they probably feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture supports this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built-in folly of on-line sites: you're simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still thing I should be - am tall, trim, look youthful for 48, run my own successful business, know just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I'm really active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who've written back and no genuine dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Malonton Manitoba. Just to check I wrote to fairly old women and less attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped virtually every girl. Tried all sorts of pictures. Nothing. When I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old buddies who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and infrequently return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested however they don't respond. Just do not realize this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I am reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring permanently alienated good buddies. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly guy and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It's just that all the younger guys approaching mature women are mostly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the men begin to lose interest in them. it is insulting to me. And that's why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more options regarding dating. Magnet, Manitoba backpage escorts. But there are ways around this. First, a girl has to expressly say what she offers a guy (that he wants) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually not one of them actually say what they provide a man. Typically, it's a listing of demands and choices. This really is not good advertising. A female should be able to answer the question What do I offer a guy that he needs?" If she doesn't know, (or is offended by the question) she is not ready for dating.
Debby, you are talking rot as far as I'm concerned. I am 62 and let me tell you, I've had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they don't even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects aren't good with a much younger woman. But in my experience a whole lot of much younger women go for me. They say I am a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to consider it's about a cynical money grab, I must tell you we elderly guys, like some old women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can collect much about a lady from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with responses from inferior matches that they become exasperated and start to establish borders; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and suggests maybe an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are accustomed to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will understand that relationships aren't just about her and her needs. Certainly men can frequently behave exactly the same manner, just wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is that many people only blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular website, I also was just able to date younger (my normal preference except for my present same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Magnet Manitoba Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts near Magnet. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I have a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waistline til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I Have had a clear edge. I figure I am one of the lucky ones, but I think that it's a combo of my character, a type of God luminescence"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a difficulty frankly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the attempt imo. Perhaps 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Magnet Manitoba Backpage Escorts. I don't know....Am acceptable with my isolation now. Crave it actually (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We're just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variant circa 1965. Magnet Manitoba backpage escorts.
There is plenty more here, as I found when I first came here over two years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is absolutely mild and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent assertion) men in my age group. The authors of the pot of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, occasionally egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation invented concepts like introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage Escorts near Magnet. Notice how he follows up with this small jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Naturally, the unspoken assertion is that Boomer men have no such problem, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll actually date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of the exact same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a guy express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is immediately labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can't resist bragging about dating men 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!