Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I promised everyone that this week I Had concentrate on middle-aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm far more comfortable with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this specific post. Backpage Escorts near Fort La Reine, Manitoba. This list is my best attempt at summarizing the results of my informal survey, with some of my own observations predicated on a bit of research I conducted myself. Disclaimer: if you are a woman between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I am sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Waaaay too Many Pet Photographs. This was a huge complaint among the men I interviewed. They're taking a look at your profile to learn more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photographs, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we are on the subject of pet photos, I 've a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all pictures of your cats. This really is so significant. I can not stress it enough. Single, middle aged women already must cope with far too many negative stereotypes, as well as the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats in your bed) only serve to strengthen them. I once composed a blog post about how dating occasionally made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of opinions from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America advising me that I must live in a dark apartment with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Photographs. I love Instagram pictures because several of the filters make my eyes appear strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photos on my online dating profile? No I don't. Backpage Escorts in Fort La Reine Manitoba Canada. Why? Because my eyes are not really that blue (or green or lavender), and I'm about 10 years older than my Instagram photos would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the men I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photographs. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in marketing.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I despise the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you almost certainly love them), but I do believe it's significant that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the online dating world are utilizing the "athletic and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men also, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Fort Hall Manitoba. The thing is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an about typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the advice of Amy Schuler, and recognize once and for all that a little meat on our bones is not going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (correct, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Photos. You say you desire an excellent man who honors you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship with you, and then you post photos of yourself next to your bed (or in your bed, or in your bed, or in another person 's bed). And if you're not posting photographs of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photos with way too much cleavage. Fort La Reine backpage escorts. Now, that's absolutely fine - I don't have any difficulty at all with this, and I'm sure many men do not have a problem either - but what some men do have a problem with is when women post said super-sexy glamor photos and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all guys are dogs and only want them for sex. And while we're on the subject of criticism-filled profiles...
Cease Using Your Profile to Whine about Men. Several guys noticed how many women's online dating profiles are comprised mainly of complaints about guys - either their profiles, or their behaviour in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There isn't any point in using your profile story as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a website for that). So while I'm certain there are guys (and women) out there who are logged on and acting badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own selections. We can keep our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something is not quite right. Way too frequently some women are led not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be nice and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and continue without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great dismay that she just couldn't trust the guys she met online. She then continued to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via e-mail. He told her stories of his limitless wealth and his links to powerful individuals all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her away to a private island that next weekend). But that's not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his people." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like whining about how she could just no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middle-aged internet dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let's rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, lusty, drama-free, and easygoing. And these, let us omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I loathe talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mom/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-full optimist, who is easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then maybe, just perhaps, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I am aging out" of online dating. Fort La Reine, Manitoba backpage escorts. I have discovered after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to virtually nothing. It is as though going from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some sort of death knell for a dating life. I initiate contact with guys in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The possible matches that the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those guys want, (normally 35-50) I often go past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desired range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! To put it differently, intentionally sends me matches that are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've emailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I am guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage escorts nearest Fort La Reine, Canada. I assume the reason for this is they can get younger women to react to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year old version of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college love or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer version, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It's frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It is the built in folly of on-line sites: you're simply defined by your age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you are saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to reassure me that I was a grab. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, look youthful for 48, run my own successful company, understand just how to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic area (Alaska). As a result I'm very active so online dating looked like the solution. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women that have written back and no real dates. I decided women in my date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Framnes Manitoba. Simply to check I wrote to rather mature women and less appealing than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped nearly every woman. Tried all types of pictures. Nothing. while I speak to my female friends they say they're inundated. The only dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they'd been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and rarely return my calls. At Meetups women look interested however they do not respond. Simply don't comprehend this, it's as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm loath to do that because the two times I did that when my union was souring forever alienated good pals. Really out to sea on all of this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an elderly man and most women on line in my age group make out they are not interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is only that all the younger men approaching old women are predominantly, looking for what they consider to be the quickest method to get easy sex. They just show interest in guys their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more choices regarding dating. Fort La Reine, Manitoba backpage escorts. However there are certain ways around this. First, a woman has to expressly state what she offers a guy (that he desires) in the context of dating and relationships. I have read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and virtually none of them really state what they offer a guy. Usually, itis a listing of demands and choices. This isn't great advertising. A woman must be able to answer the question What do I offer a guy he desires?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she's not ready for dating.
Debby, you're speaking rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Certainly the long term prospects are not great with a considerably younger girl. But in my experience a great deal of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and handsome lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical money grab, I need to inform you we elderly guys, like some older women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, many don't entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I have the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (do not contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can collect much about a woman from reading her profile, and women in many cases are so inundated with replies from poor matches they become exasperated and begin to establish bounds; yet for me this language indicates an attitude of entitlement and self absorption, and indicates perhaps an assumption that she is the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more sensible mature girl will understand that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Clearly men can frequently behave the same manner, merely wanting sex. I believe the deeper truth is the fact that many folks only blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly comprehended desires, knowing neither themselves or what they need from a relationship.
The amusing thing is both me and my present bf JUST dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've stated numerous times on this site, I also was only competent to date younger (my normal preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Fort La Reine Manitoba Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts near me Fort La Reine. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til lately (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear advantage. I figure I'm one of the fortunate ones, but I believe it's a combo of my personality, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand appears. Men have always been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and occasionally a issue honestly.
I've determined if my bf and I break up (God FORBID as I am really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a shot. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 is NOT worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause eventually you're stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer guys. Fort La Reine, Manitoba Backpage Escorts. I do not know....Am alright with my isolation now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but only 72 miles). We are only apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to live together at some point later on. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Fort La Reine Manitoba Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is entirely light and benign. I have read a lot more hateful invective on this website, couched in rhetoric computed to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent declaration) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Just the youthful thirty and forty something women fed up with the improvements of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who appears to think his generation devised concepts like introspection, self awareness, and personal advancement, along with pretty much everything else (see his self-serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage Escorts in Fort La Reine. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photo driven nature of online dating makes it more difficult for Boomer women to shine, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such difficulty, and if they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who'll really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of precisely the same women, who now feel entitled to guys from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!