Last week I shared my six pet peeves about middle-aged men's online dating profiles , and I assured everyone that this week I'd focus on middle aged women's online dating profiles. Since I'm much more familiar with men's profiles, I recruited some of my single male friends (and the Twittersphere) to help me with this post. Backpage escorts nearest Beaconia, Manitoba. This list is my best effort at summarizing the outcomes of my informal survey, with some of my own observations based on a little research I ran myself. Disclaimer: if you are a girl between the ages of 45 and 60, living in the Chicagoland area, and I popped up on your "Viewed Me" list, I'm sorry, really. Anyway, here goes:
Manner too Many Pet Photos. This was a tremendous criticism among the men I interviewed. They are taking a look at your profile to find out more about you, not your pets. So delete the pet photos, particularly the ones without you in them. Oh and while we're on the subject of pet pictures, I have a private request of all you single, middle aged women out there on dating websites: please, please, please delete any and all photos of your cats. This really is really important. I can't stress it enough. Single, middle-aged women already need to manage much too many negative stereotypes, along with the cat photographs (you cuddling with your cats, you kissing your cats, multiple cats on your own bed) merely function to strengthen them. I once wrote a blog post about how dating sometimes made me feel unwelcome , and I got hundreds of comments from single middle-aged men throughout all of North America informing me that I must live in a dark flat with 100 or so cats, so actually, please delete them.
No. More. Instagram. Pictures. I really like Instagram photos because several of the filters make my eyes look strikingly blue (or green, or lavender), and some even shave about ten years off my face. But do I post these photographs on my internet dating profile? No I do not. Backpage escorts in Beaconia Manitoba, Canada. Why? Because my eyes aren't really that blue (or green or lavender), and I am about 10 years older than my Instagram pictures would have you believe. This was the number one complaint among the guys I interviewed - artistically filtered (i.e., delusory) photos. Truth in advertising ladies, truth in advertising.
Athletic and Toned Means, well, Athletic and Toned. I hate the body descriptors as much as you do (well, except for you size 0 women out there, you most likely love them), but I do believe it is important that we at least strive for honesty. The word on the street is the fact that far too many women out there in the internet dating world are utilizing the "fit and toned" descriptor in reference to their "about average" bodies (this complaint applies to men as well, of course). Backpage Escorts Near Me Bayend Manitoba. The matter is, there actually is not anything wrong with having an around typical (or curvy) body so let us take the pressure off ourselves and heed the guidance of Amy Schuler, and understand once and for all that a little meat on our bones isn't going to kill us, and it isn't going to drive away the good guys either (right, good guys?).
Tone Down the Boudoir Shots. You say you desire an excellent man who respects you as a human being and is interested in having a serious relationship on you, and then you post photographs of yourself next to your bed (or on your own bed, or in your bed, or in somebody else's bed). And if you're not posting photos of yourself next to your bed, (or on your bed, or in your bed), you are posting photographs with way too much cleavage. Beaconia Backpage Escorts. Now, that is completely excellent - I don't have any problem at all with this, and I'm certain many guys do not have a problem either - but what some guys do have a problem with is when women place said super-hot glamour pictures and then complain to their friends, or make statements on their profiles about how all men are dogs and just want them for sex. And while we're on the topic of criticism-filled profiles...
Stop Using Your Profile to Complain about Men. Several guys noted how many women's online dating profiles are included mostly of criticisms about guys - either their profiles, or their conduct in general. I agree with the guys on this one. There is no point in using your profile narrative as a soapbox for your negative understanding of all single, middle-aged men (for heaven's sakes use a blog for that). So while I am certain there are men (and women) out there who are logged on and behaving badly, I believe that women must take responsibility for their own choices. We can maintain our favorable expectations while at exactly the same time heeding our inner voice that warns us when something isn't quite appropriate. Far too frequently some women are guided not by common sense, but by wishful thinking and also a desire to be fine and not seem rude, so we discount the large, red flashing warning lights raging in our heads and proceed without caution. I once met a girl who expressed great depression that she just could not trust the guys she met online. She then proceeded to tell me a story about any of these men who spent days (yes, days) wooing her via email. He told her stories of his limitless prosperity and his links to powerful people all around the globe. She slept with him on the 2nd date (after he promised to whisk her off to a private island that next weekend). But that is not all. She also gave him all of her identifying information when he told her that she needed to be checked by "his folks." And guess what? Yep! Her identity was stolen. Complaining about how she could simply no longer trust guys she met online was a bit like complaining about how she could merely no longer trust Nigerian princes.
One more thing. I'd like to ask all my middleaged online dating male and female compatriots a party favor. Please, let us rid our profiles of these overused phrases once and for all: glass-half-full, sensual, play-free, and easygoing. And these, let's omit these also: "I look 10 years younger than I am," "I hate talking about myself, but..." and all derivatives of "my friends/mother/ex/kids tell me that..I am a glass-half-complete optimist, who's easy going and looks 10 years younger than I am." I believe that if we can all agree to clean up our profiles then perhaps, just maybe, we can locate some common ground and get back to the work of falling in love (or at least having fun trying).
I feel like I 'm aging out" of online dating. Beaconia, Manitoba backpage escorts. I have noticed after my last birthday (I turned 54 in June) that the answer I get on has dropped to almost nothing. It's as though moving from the early 50s to the mid 50s is some form of death knell for a dating life. I begin contact with men in an age-range of about 3 years younger up to about 8 years older than myself. The potential matches the site sends me are age appropriate for me, but when I look at the age-range that those men want, (typically 35-50) I regularly move past them, knowing I can't compete with women in their desirable range, even though many of those guys are as much as 5-8 years older than me! In other words, intentionally sends me matches which are probably not realistic for me to pursue. When I've e-mailed some of those guys, I don't hear back. I'm guessing they check out my profile, see my age, and likely read no further. Even if I'm within their desirable range, I still do not get much of a reply. Backpage escorts closest to Beaconia, Canada. I presume the reason for this is they can get younger women to respond to them, so why would they go for me when they have a chance with the 45 year-old model of me? If their first wife was their age, such as, for instance, a college honey or whatever, they likely feel entitled to a newer model, so to speak. Our culture encourages this. It is frustrating, as well as depressing and more than a little humiliating. It's the built in folly of online websites: you are simply defined by your actual age, in bold type right next to your user name.
I get what you're saying. When my marriage fell apart a year ago people attempted to assure me that I was a catch. And I still matter I should be - am tall, clean-cut, seem youthful for 48, run my own successful business, understand the way to dance, am a community leader with environmental education and in my profession, lecture at university, write, from an exotic place (Alaska). As a result I am quite busy so online dating looked like the answer. But in fact in six I can count on one hand the amount of women who have written back and no actual dates. I picked women in my own date range and attractiveness range. Backpage Escorts Near Me Beaudry Manitoba. Just to check I wrote to quite old women and not as attractive than myself. Nothing. Got on Tinder and swiped almost every girl. Attempted all sorts of pictures. Nothing. while I talk to my female friends they say they're inundated. The sole dates I've had, 2, were from old friends who both told me they had been fantasising about me for years but then they left it at that and seldom return my calls. At Meetups women appear interested but they do not answer. Simply do not realize this, it is as if they expect me to pursue them and I 'm reluctant to do that because the two times I did that when my marriage was souring forever alienated good friends. Really out to sea on all this - so much has changed since I was last dating 26 years past.
Kathleen, I'm an old man and most women on line in my age group make out they aren't interested in the younger guys. But of course they are. It is merely that all the younger guys approaching senior women are mainly, looking for what they consider to be the fastest method to get easy sex. They simply reveal interest in men their particular age when the supply of younger guys dries up, or the guys begin to lose interest in them. It's insulting to me. And that's the reason why I am not interested in the women, my age who approach me.
Men over 45 do have more alternatives regarding dating. Beaconia Manitoba backpage escorts. However there are ways around this. First, a woman has to specifically state what she offers a guy (that he needs) in the context of dating and relationships. I've read tens of thousands of female profiles (35-55 years old) and almost none of them actually say what they offer a man. Usually, it's a record of demands and choices. This is not good marketing. A lady should have the ability to answer the question What do I offer a man that he wants?" If she doesn't understand, (or is offended by the question) she is not prepared for dating.
Debby, you're discussing rot as far as I'm concerned. I'm 62 and let me tell you, I Have had nights" with women 20-30 years younger and they do not even ask what I do for a job. Sure the long term prospects aren't good with a considerably younger woman. But in my experience a lot of much younger women go for me. They say I'm a silver fox and fine lol - Sorry, but as much as youwant to believe it's about a cynical cash grab, I have to tell you we older guys, like some elderly women attract the opposite sex. Unfortunately, lots of people don't entice the opposite sex. nature is unkind.
I 've exactly the same observation. Andrew. For awhile I was amazed at women's profiles with their shopping list of demands (don't contact me if...you must be blah blah blah....""with no statement of what they have to offer. Certainly a guy can assemble much about a woman from reading her profile, and women are often so inundated with replies from poor matches that they become exasperated and start to set boundaries; yet for me this language implies an attitude of entitlement and self-absorption, and suggests perhaps an assumption that she's the more desired one in the deal. Maybe women are used to being pursued. A more thoughtful mature woman will comprehend that relationships are not just about her and her needs. Definitely guys can frequently behave the same manner, only wanting sex. I believe the more profound truth is the fact that most folks simply blunder unconsciously into relationships, compelled by their badly understood desires, understanding neither themselves or what they need from a connection.
The funny thing is both me and my present bf ONLY dated younger for the most part when online dating. He said it was vanity on his part and I told him I did it'cause I could (get away with it). But asI've said numerous times on this particular blog, I also was only competent to date younger (my usual preference except for my current same-age bf) cause I lied about my age. Beaconia, Manitoba Backpage Escorts. Backpage escorts in Beaconia. Shaved off quite a couple of years too girls! lol I was born in 1953, but wouldput 1960 or1961 on my profile. What helped is I 've a killer figure (lean, but curves, 36D) and pretty face thanks to years of intermittant plastic surgery (but nothing below the waist til recently (coolsculpting which I recommend). Myplastic surgeon's nurse says I endeavor youthfulness and look, on a good day, in my 40s still. So, I've had a clear edge. I imagine I'm one of the lucky ones, but I think it is a combo of my character, a type of God glow"/spiritualityand seems. Men have ever been brought to me in person. Big time. Sometimes it was flattering and sometimes a problem honestly.
I've decided if my bf and I break up (God PROHIBIT as I'm really in love with him) I will not return to online dating but will give celibacy a chance. Dating after, say, 58 or 59 ISN'T worth the effort imo. Maybe 'cause finally you are stuck with all these bitter, old, paranoid,hypocritical boomer men. Beaconia, Manitoba backpage escorts. I really don't know....Am alright with my solitude now. Crave it really (bf and I 've a long distance relationship but just 72 miles). We are just apart about 4 nights before reunited though. And plan to dwell together at some point in the foreseeable future. So my dating experience can be best summed up by the old standard Just in Time". Listen to the Streisand variation circa 1965. Beaconia, Manitoba Backpage Escorts.
There's plenty more here, as I discovered when I first came here over a couple of years ago; in fact, compared to some of what I read about my generation of guys (baby boomers) here, that one is certainly mild and benign. I've read a lot more hateful invective on this particular website, couched in rhetoric calculated to be as offensive, inflammatory, hurtful, degrading and emasculating as possible, aimed at ALL (a frequent affirmation) men in my age group. The authors of the kettle of hater-aide? Only the young thirty and forty something women fed up with the advances of creepy old men"? Nope; the women of my very own generation, for the most part, sometimes egged on by young men like Nathan, who seems to think his generation devised theories like introspection, self-awareness, and personal advancement, together with pretty much everything else (see his self serving, patronizing little discourse on old Boomer guys" below). Backpage Escorts nearest Beaconia. Notice how he follows up with this little jewel, The age and photograph driven nature of online dating makes it harder for Boomer women to polish, regardless of what they do." Of course, the unspoken declaration is the fact that Boomer guys have no such problem, and when they do, they deserve it. I beg to differ. The ones of us who will really date women in our own age group, are automatically rejected online (without even a profile view) by most of exactly the same women, who now feel entitled to men from 15 years younger to no more than 2 years older than themselves (or so say their online profiles). Let a man express interest in virtually any girl younger than himself, and he is instantly labeled a creep, a pervert along with a dirty old man; yet women like Ellen come here, can not resist bragging about dating guys 17 to 22 years younger than me" and the chorus of applause from the distaff side is deafening. Pot, meet kettle!